All Mixed Up

My favorite season, fall. It’s chimed in every year with a new school year. This one is brand new though. College. How scary right? No not really but it does have me feeling like I’m a little bit of everywhere right now.

Starting high school this is what you plan for, work your ass off for and are preached to about on a daily basis. Let me give you a little tid bit from my first 3 days. High school is NOT going to prepare you for college at all (at least mine didn’t). Yes they tell you some things like “you do a lot of writing”. This one folks is not a lie, but when they start telling you, “oh definitely take that calc class it will really benefit you” don’t believe it!!! Unless you’re on the path that requires it, I highly suggest avoiding it at all cost. They will constantly tell you that you can’t do this or you can’t do that because it will effect you getting into college. Personally for me, I didn’t take high school serious at all and here I am typing this at Purdue. My councilor told me two years ago I wouldn’t be able to get into a state school with the way I went about school. On my cheer team I was 1 of the 2 girls who decided to advance into a college besides Ivy Tech (which is where I was told I should be). No I don’t see a problem with community college, some people there are probably a hell of a lot smarter than I am, it’s just not the right environment for me. After realizing this I told myself going into senior year that I would work my ass off to make sure I could prove everyone wrong. The funny part though is that I went to almost every class my senior year and I didn’t have to work my ass off at all. Senior year is the easy year. Take advantage of it!!

High school seniors, take this year to do your work, but more importantly use it to celebrate and have fun!! College is a blast so far especially welcome week, but now I’m a grown up who is responsible for myself. Take advantage of being a teen and getting away with almost anything and do those senior events. Go to prom with whoever YOU want, stay out late on a school night, skip that pointless class even if you have an athletic director yelling at you for it the next day. All I’m saying is please please please make sure you have the time of your life now and then get to college, buckle down and then make that time even better than you ever expected it to be.

Right now I feel overwhelmed, frustrated, happy and confused all at the same time. So many people told me going to a school so close to home would be a decision I would soon regret, but right now I can 100% say I couldn’t have chosen better. My move-in day started a little rocky with a down pour (how mid west) and multiple trips to and from my dorm because I have very bad packing skills. After settling in, my roomie who I met at random moved in and I was very hesitant over how things were going to go over. We talked a little and let me tell you, if there was anyone who is completely and totally opposite of me it is this girl. I thought oh no this year is already sucking at day 1, but things have turned up and continue to each day. I have met an endless amount of people from all over campus, which is extremely nice to have when you need to see a friendly face before 8 AM class.

Freshman orientation is not my thing. This years Boiler Gold Rush (BGR) went on without me. Okay not completely, but I wouldn’t say only attending opening ceremonies is exactly taking part of the week long event(sorry dad). The weird part about BGR is that it’s created to help you meet campus, but mostly meet people and they do that by sticking you in a group of about 15 for the whole duration. It’s actually kinda funny to me that I can say while all of those people spent their week just getting to know each other, i met at least 3X the amount of people. All it took was a friendly smile and me probably doing something stupid. A lot of people I met we actually bonded over not participating in BGR. The worst part about BGR I think is the wrist band. Yes we get name badges, but those wrist bands let me tell ya. We get these neon wrist bands we HAVE to wear all week or we basically starve. These bands draw so much attention to you and everyone knows you’re a freshman. Oh working out and a hot guy who isn’t wear a wristband looks at you then BAM see’s your wrist, game over girl you’re a FRESHMAN.

So that was a lot of detail over something not so important, but this is. I found my new home here at Purdue. I am finally taking the time to breathe and put myself together piece by piece each and everyday. Last Sunday I took a leap of faith and went to a church close to my dorm and all of a sudden things kinda clicked. I LOVED it there. I walked up to the 11AM service to be greeted by the nicest people and surprised that everyone was my age. The service was great (worship wasn’t as great without Hunter) and I met freshman girls I could actually relate to. I can honestly say I’m not sure if the church is as great as I’m making it out to be, but here I can finally be me. I’m not just a random girl who shows up, I’m not the little sister to anyone. I am Ashley and people genuinely look forward to seeing me. I cannot explain how this feeling has effected me and thats why I’m all mixed up.

I am new. I am different. I am becoming someone I have always wanted to be. Ashley isn’t just the cheerleader or girl who’s friends with ______. I am Ashley and I am okay with that. Lately things have been going in the direction I’ve really needed and it’s positive impact has made me realize I can accomplish so many things with supportive friends, family and most importantly God by my side. Realizing just how important it is to surround yourself with the right people is the first step I had to take, so don’t be afraid to take that jump. I am taking the step to become Ashley again. New and improved, it will be worth it and I will be worth it. I pinky promise.




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